


It's So Easy it's Hard

by Gigi



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-01
Updated: 2012-07-01
Packaged: 2017-11-08 22:51:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/448434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi/pseuds/Gigi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It became a habit. Then an addiction until finally it was just a part of who we are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's So Easy it's Hard

Harder.

Yes, press into me. All the way. You fuck me, I can feel your breath on the back of my neck. You need me. You want me. Our bodies are burning, our bodies are becoming one. I am finely whole.

Harder.

I want to beg you, I want you feel what this is like. I can't tell you, no there are no words right. There are no meanings. Only moans. Only grunts. How foolish I am, how cold and hard I am. Still burning. It's raining, a storm you're bring.

Harder.

Please! Can't you feel it? We are getting so much closer, we are going to melt. Your touch is soft, I wont break. I wont fall apart. Why are you so careful? When others take you, you allow them to hurt you. Why wont you hurt me? The pain makes it real. You of all people should know this!

Harder.

The beast is in your eyes, it's clawing at your heart. I can feel it, turned around in your arms, fuck me! Your cock thrusting deeper with in me, striking me but not hard enough. I wont break, I swear I wont. I scream this with my mind. Screaming at the top of my lungs wordlessly. Can you not understand? That I want to feel you? For hours afterwards, I want to feel that you had me, that you made me your's.

Harder.

Higher and higher we fly, higher then ever before, higher then we should. Your nails are cutting my skin. My hands sweat upon your back. How my legs ache upon your hips. Oh, Higher! When I feel your lips upon my neck, I know its time. You want me to fight, you want me tell you “no”. How can I? I am yours.

Harder.

Thrust into me, mark me as your own. Take me. Oh, but you will. Even if I don't ask. I have no voice, it seems weak a breathless moan. My eyes are closed, for if I watch it will be to much. My mind will travel lines of time into the past, our first fuck or last fuck. I want to be here in the moment with you. Here as your sex beats upon me, in me. As my sex needs of your hand. And how you give it to me. Oh, sweet lord.

Harder.

It's white heat. A fire behind my eyes, a fire of warmth as you fill me with your life. It's pooling inside of me, as I scream. Yes, your name. Always your name upon well kissed lips, my lips into your's. My heart beats in a wild dance. My heart is your heart. Our beasts are happy. Finely, finely we are at peace.

Harder.

When you finely pull yourself from my body I can only cry out, not from the pain but from the lose of you. You leave me empty, you leave me needing more then I should. I can't take it. As you roll over on to your back on the mattress. I should be happy we had one of the best fucks yet. It's over now, that emptiness that was there before it settles back with in me. What am I doing wrong?

Harder.

I can't look you in the eye, I can't do anything but smile. You smile. That happy relaxed smile as you pull yourself from the bed. No, it's not our bed. It could never be our bed ever again. I try to be happy.

Harder.

You are leaving me. Leaving your smell to be upon my body and sheets. My smile is cocky, “She'll smell me on you.” You only shake your head, “He'll know.” The smile of your's is so innocent. How can you be innocent when you sent the last hour and half fucking my ass harder then anyone else has? Not that I want anyone else. I watch as you get dressed.

Harder.

Each time you walk away from me, each time I come back to you. It's an endless dance. Always played when we are at our weakest. Our past together brings us back to one another. We shouldn't do this, we shouldn't be allowed to have this weakness. I can not but help feel as if each time you walk way it gets easier for you. She gives you now what you want. Loves you the way you need. You are forgetting me. It's easy for you isn't it?

Harder.

I can hardily breath, the air is to thick with our lust and smell. How foolish I am, Nathaniel. You don't know do you? I am just a joke. It's just was a game we played on cold nights to get warmer. I know I tell you that I love you, I know I whisper it in your ear. When I am fucking, when you are fucking me. But what kind of love is this? Is it true? Should I go crawling back to Cherry? Beg her to forgive me again?

I love you, each time it just gets...

Harder.

Every time I have to walk away it's...

Harder.

Tell me please, is it harder for you as well?

Harder.

Yes, it's harder to forget love then it is to learn it. Nathaniel?

Harder.

But it's me, it's Zane. I never make anything easy, do I kitten? So we'll just let it be...

 

-Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Please go to: http://www.pommedesang.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=5036&chapter=2 to read Softer By Darla; which is Nath's POV and than read It's Soft and Hard here: http://www.pommedesang.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=5036&chapter=3 Which is both of the boys. It's such a painful beautiful story.


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